During my trek through the tall grasslands of Iceland, I encountered a bucktooth hamster while jogging down the half broken interstate known as Highway 108 Southwest, at first I thought he had hostile intentions until he offered me a joint of imported Mexican marijuana, I gladly accepted this kind gesture, as I just assumed that he was going to offer me a few hits, then move along his daily business.
After taking my first hit, we talked about the weather, and other small talk. Within a few minutes, the joint extinguished prematurely; unfortunately the hamster, which I just found out his name is Ryan, didn't have a lighter, so he tracked down a helpless acorn, rubbed it against his bicuspid which caused the tip of the acorn to ignite, thus enabling me to re-light my joint which still had a good 8 hits left in it, not counting the roach hits. In between hits, Ryan informed me that he recently been apprehended by the coyote police while he was sodomizing a goldfish, even though the act was consensual for both parties; apparently he was arrested while licking red wine off the fins of the goldfish, the charge was underage drinking because apparently the legal drinking age for rodents is 47, and Ryan was only 33.
After serving his 6 month sentence, which in human terms is 3 days, he made a short trip to Ethiopia where he met, and married a stripper white panther that took a vow of celibacy, but was open to giving a 2 inch dildo a hand job. After they eloped, he was riding in his leaf mobile when he was pulled over for doing 10 inches per hour in a 5 inch per hour zone. He was given a speeding ticket, after which he dropped off his wife to their cave, and while he was hunting for ant farms to feed the corpse of his mother that was sitting in the house, he encountered me, and here we are.
I found this story to be fascinating, and partially amusing, however as I was taking the last hit of the joint, I looked up and noticed a cryptic smile was on Ryan's face, at this point I realized that I was in fact smoking a joint of sodium-penethol laced with a date rape drug. While I was losing conscientiousness, I began developing an erection, and noticed Ryan laughing hysterically in an evil tone.
When I regained conscienceness, I found myself bound to a bed of twigs, and a wig of caterpillars had been placed on my head. Soon after I was joined by a Blue Jay wearing a short skirt that was carrying a bottle of lubricating jelly. As I was struggling to break free from this apparent asylum, the unnamed Blue Jay lubed my left nostril while pecking at my aureole, she eventually straddled my nostril and began moaning profusely, during which I found it to be a strangely euphoric experience. During my orgasm, I managed to break free from the binds that were made up of goats hooves. The Blue Jay hadn't cum yet, so she attempted to pluck out my eyes, but before any severe damage had been done, I slashed her throat with a broken end of the hoof.
Once out of the room, I realized I was in a tree house, so I made a quick effort to exit the premises; unfortunately, once I stepped out of the hole, I fell 37 stories, and broke my neck. While I was fading into death, I saw Ryan sucking my dick while being ass fucked by his wife; during the last minute I had a first time thing, an orgasm from my ass. Then I passed away.
Moral of the story? Never travel to a grassland in a place that's supposed to be covered in ice.
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